Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in nikkitown's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007
9:53 am	2007 My New Years Resolutions are fairly simple for 2007. 1. Be a good wife. Sounds easy and vague enough. But in all honestly Michael is such an amazing husband that it becomes difficult to see if I am doing my part as well. This year I really want to concentrate on being supportive with his career and keeping a nice home for us. 2. Simplify work. Spend less time venting about items I am unhappy about. Either attempt to change something or learn to let it go for the time being. Try not to get others involved in my struggles. Do not get to personal with friends from work. Do not share information regarding my coworkers with management unless absolutely necessary. 3. Work on my relationship with God. As for the specifics, I am going to keep that to myself for now. 3. Think prior to speaking and rolling my eyes. I can easily display my emotions in a flashy array of light (or darkness) for all to see. I plan to take more time to think about my words and actions this year. Hopefully it will save me from saying or doing anything unfavorable. 4. Watch my weight. In 2006 my weight fluctuated enough for my doctor to discuss the gaining and loosing of weight this year. Attempt to maintain a healthy weight where I feel comfortable. Though I am probably not there yet. Current Mood: Just Fine (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 12th, 2006
8:50 pm	the unexplained explained Well, as I am learning… apparently loosing weight in combination of a vitamin deficiency can cause frequent unexplained bruising. I woke up a couple days ago with a completely black and blue ankle. If I have an itch and scratch my calf lightly I have a bruise there the following day. Everything hurts. My muscles in which I feel I am barely using are soar. So I picked up a multi-vitamin tonight. Hopefully I will start to see a difference soon. That would be good. Work is really interesting right now. I think there will be some major shakeups to say the very least. All for now. Nikki Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)
7:56 pm	Believing I do not believe in: fate, destiny, chance, luck, horoscopes, superstition, or fortune telling. I do, as it is, believe in: God, His plan, Jesus Christ, free-will as a gift from God, Divine Intervention, faith, prayer, chivalry, character, responsibility, community, country, the idea that sometimes love means holding on, and that sometimes love means letting go. Nikki Current Mood: mellow (Comment on this)
Friday, December 8th, 2006
7:59 pm	nothing much at all It’s been so long since I have last written. Not sure why. I guess I haven’t been spending much time online outside of work. Things have been very good. Bailey is our new kitten and having her is a blessing even when she scratches us up. I guess I just can’t seem to find the words to write at this particular time in my life. Nikki Current Mood: blank (Comment on this)
Friday, October 13th, 2006
4:39 pm	Let's catch up over a cup of coffee I am pretty much in love with coffee. But on Wednesday I stopped at Starbucks after a doctor’s appointment in Carmel and decided to try their Guatemalan Brew. The coffee was fresh but not very pleasant… It has sort of a dry/harsh sweet flavor. I guess to some people coffee is coffee no matter how it comes. Though I am attempting to get to Coffee Connoisseur status, I have a long way to go. For example my favorite coffee hands down is from Kenya. The coffee beans are located near wine gardens and flowering plants. It causes the coffee to have a very precious aroma… In somewhat related news, Glenn gave me Starbucks gift card for $100. I will admit that I miss Caribou Coffee in the Chicago land area. They are just starting to make there way into Indiana but they aren’t anywhere near central Indiana as of yet. I did get Glenn a card for the Hallmark Holiday, Boss’s Day. It’s a funny one and yet so true. Michael and I are going up to Plainfield IL this weekend for his step-mom’s retirement party. Err.. Not looking forward to it. One of my sister in-laws is a stay at home mom with two young kids. The other is a surgeon. I don’t really have much to talk to either of them about. I guess it just happens like that sometimes. I am not looking forward to the 4 hour drive tomorrow morning. I have been having a ton of trouble getting to sleep and falling asleep. My prescription should be ready when I go home tonight. That in combination with the hour long massage I have scheduled with Josh’s fiancée, Ann, should also help. Lana was a little pissed off today because I got double monitors before her (at work). She called me the “Golden Child”. I really thought those days were over once Missy left, but I guess I was wrong. It’s frustrating to say little. I know Lana isn’t really upset with me, she just truly believes that life is so much more difficult for her than the rest of the world. I love the way people think they know anything about my life or the way I grew up and how I got to where I am. Life was plenty difficult for me and I am glad that I have been able to work hard for the great things I have now. Less complaining might be a start for Lana. I don’t know. She and I will never be close the way we were. Seriously… we have nothing in common. Cindy, on the other hand, and I have been a lot closer. That’s a lady with a truly difficult life… and she has learned to make it work. I think you can only feel sorry for yourself for so long before you annoy everyone with it. I have experience on both sides of this argument. Current Mood: good (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 12th, 2006
1:10 am	Book reading I am re-reading the book by Terry Pratchett, “The color of magic”. It’s one in a series of nine books about Disc World, I think. His writing is very amusing but also complicated at times. Needless to say, I am enjoying it. Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 11th, 2006
2:54 pm	Err.... I had a large lunch with Cindy today. Probably 600 calories which means I should skip dinner. What happened to 140 calorie yogurt? Err… I should work out tonight. Why is life so hard? Current Mood: guilty (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
10:08 am	Meal Skipping I think it’s okay to skip a meal or two once in awhile. Someone once said, “Nothing tastes as good and being skinny feels.” I do not condone anorexia; just believe that different things are right for different people. And that is all I really have to say about this subject. Current Mood: working (Comment on this)
Monday, October 9th, 2006
1:35 pm	The short survey The short Survey: 1. What is your name? Nicole. But most people these days know me by Nikki. 2. Who do you stalk on myspace? I suppose it depends on your definition of “stalk.” Probably several people. If you write interesting blogs or your site has music I especially like, I will probably view your site often. I am not overly creative so I am a little fascinated by people who are. I guess I also “stalk” people who aren’t necessarily my “myspace friends” I just add them as favorites so I can find them easily. 3. Does size really matter? The age old question about size… well, if we are talking about my paycheck, the answer is YES. 4. What is your favorite sport? Tennis, though golf and volleyball are close behind. 5. Who is your favorite author? Terry Pratchett, especially his series about Disc World. 6. What do you day dream about? Finding a new church. May sound silly to some, but I left my old church when I moved from the west side of Indy to the northeast and the drive became too far to allow me to get involved. Now finding a new church has been disappointing to say the least. 7. What subject do you love talking about? My love for Michael, Religion, Politics, and Tennis – in that order probably. 8. What subject do you hate talking about? What I eat or what I weigh. If you are paying attention to those things about me, it may be a sign that your life is boring. 9. If you could change something about your personality what would it be? I would be more patient with people. I tend to prefer that people catch on quicker and move faster. It’s truly a personality flaw. 10. What is the one thing people should know about you? I don’t sleep. Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 21st, 2006
1:47 pm	Here's what's going on... Last weekend we planted the weeping cherry tress that we bought in our backyard. The lot next to ours on the east side just sold. I wonder how long it will be before they start building. It has been nice to have so much space for the last year, but the houses are getting closer and closer now. There are many nice houses, most of them very large. It’s good for our property value. Michael and I got together with Stephy and Charlie for dinner at Bahama Breeze and then went bowling. I am not the best bowler but still had a lot of fun. My 137 game was about average for me. Michael and Charlie are fairly decent players. My parents are coming for a visit in a couple of weeks. They haven’t been down to see us in about year. But then again, we have only been up to Chicago a few times ourselves. I am looking forward to it. They will down our way for Thanksgiving at Stephy’s in November. It is official; we are going to plan our next cruise. This past May we took a 6 night 7 day cruise to the Bahamas on Norwegian. We will start planning next years cruise, same cruise line or possibly Princess Cruises. They are pretty accommodating as well. I have a sinus infection. I thought I might be fighting it for a couple weeks, but finally saw doctor yesterday to get antibiotics. Err… I feel awful. The medications make me sick to my stomach. It’s great for loosing weight but I hate feeling so drained. Nikki Current Mood: nauseated (Comment on this)
Friday, September 8th, 2006
7:57 am	Home and Marriage On our first year wedding anniversary (September 5th) Michael bought me a dozen red roses and a card that made me cry those sweet happy tears. We shared a box of Jean-Philippe chocolates in a decretive box that we kept frozen from the day we were married. It was still pretty nice though we celebrated a week earlier with a short getaway and nice dinner and Champaign brunch to follow. I can not express my love for Michael. It is truly amazing. In other news… this past weekend, we bought floor to ceiling drapes for our great room (which spread over three windows) and breakfast area (sliding glass doors). They are a beautiful cream color which brightens up the cherry-wood ground floor. Everything is coming together in our house and our relationship. We are still waiting for that phone call that will seem to never get here. It’s been a couple months since I mentioned being excited about something pretty big. And since then we have been waiting for the final confirmation. Nothing concrete yet. Mostly things are well. I have no complaints right now. Nikki Current Mood: loved (Comment on this)
Monday, August 28th, 2006
2:57 pm	our 1 year anniversary This weekend we celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary. It was about a week early. We arrived at Eddie Merlot’s about 45 minutes before our reservation and had cocktails in the lounge. We were sat right at our scheduled time in a nice round booth (requested by Michael). We started with the calamari, which was some of the most tender I have ever had. It came with three dipping sauces; the spicy mustard was the best, in my opinion. I had the 8 oz filet medium, peppercorn encrusted. Michael has the crab stuffed jumbo shrimp. Asparagus and hash brown potatoes were on the side to share. Dessert was coffee and special chocolate cake provided by the restaurant for our “special occasion”. The whole night we were referred to as Mr. & Mrs. _______. We were never rushed and enjoyed about 3 hours total. We stayed at the Sheraton Hotel. The next morning, we had a Champaign Brunch at Keystone Grill. It was absolutely lovely with a piano player and base. Nikki Current Mood: pleased (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006
1:34 pm	A total romantic I took a late lunch today. It’s nice because then the afternoon doesn’t drag. Work has been simple lately. Not easy, but simple. Last weekend we went to Amy & Mike’s wedding. Amy was beautiful and Michael and I had a lot of fun! I am a total romantic, despite my attitude from time to time or the fact I have seen several burned by love. I want to believe that people will live happily ever after. Michael and I are celebrating our one year anniversary this weekend with dinner reservations at Eddie Merlot's Steakhouse and we will stay at the Sheraton Hotel. Dieting in combination with exercise has been going really well it seems. A solid eight pounds lost! Yeah! I am about 4 pounds away from what I would consider my ideal weight. Michael and I would like to take a long weekend getaway in the next few weeks. We are having trouble deciding where to go and what do. Everything seems too plain or too complicated. But I will admit there are bigger frustrations to have. John is going up to visit Glenn tonight and tomorrow. He gets to have dinner with Glenn’s wife Patty. I couldn’t be more envious. Patty is amazing! I love her! I am not sure if I have written about her in this journal before or not, but she is truly the kind of person you would want to be best friends with. I am thinking Michael and I should join something social. I think maybe a bowling league or dinner club… but I don’t know. We have been trying to get together with Stephy & Charlie for sometime now and that’s not working for one reason or another. Stephy seems to be doing a lot better now. She’s on Zoloft. I am trying to get her to agree to have Thanksgiving at her house, so we don’t have to travel back up to Chicago. Haven’t heard from Matt for a couple weeks. Not sure if I should be concerned but I am a little. That’s just how it is between us. I am going to look at property listings now. Nikki Current Mood: good (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 16th, 2006
9:50 pm	Wow - Tennis Wow – I am in utter shock! I feel like something major has happened in my life, but that is not the case at all. It’s Tennis! Men’s professional tennis that is. After Wimbledon I told my family and some friends that are into the sport tennis about a young man named Andy Murry. I watched the match on tv where he beat Andy Roddick at Wimbledon. I told people he was an up-and-comer and to keep an eye out. In fact I was disappointed when he pulled out of the RCA Championships here in Indiana (Michael and I had tickets). A few US tournaments later and Andy Murray beat Roger Federer! Federer lost in the second round in Cincinnati this week. For a short time I thought I might be happy about how well Andy was doing, but that’s not how I feel at all. I feel like Andy’s is not humble. Federer had a good run and I am sure that we haven’t seen the last of him. Andy Murry of Scottland has Andre Agassi’s old coach. I guess something is working. Nikki Current Mood: shocked (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 6th, 2006
11:59 pm	Today This morning I woke up practically in tears. I woke from a dream where I was back in Wheaton. For some reason I was taking a walk and had my cat, Viola, on a leash (you don’t take a cat for a walk, everyone knows that). We were several blocks away from my parents house. And Viola got loose and ran away. So I am hysterically looking for her. Cats do not just run up to you when you call, especially if they are scared. Well, it wasn’t long before I found her and she had stepped on some sort of prickly plant that got caught on her back paw. She was in pain and moaning and mowing. Of course in the dream I assume that she is dying and I am in tears. So I pick her up and start running for Rick’s house (because in my head I know I must be close to it). But as in the dream world, I am unable to run…. The whole day I made sure I spent a ton of time playing with Viola and her toys and brushing her (that’s her favorite thing) and we laid down for a short nap together. Michael and I did skip church today for a trip to the local batting cages. Where I found that I still had it. It, being the ability to hit a base ball. We has a lot of fun! Thursday night, though, was a blast! I was able to see the band Wideawake in the front row live! I met the lead singer and the base guitarist (hot!). They are going to be huge sometime very soon. That I am sure of and I’ll be able to say I was pretty much an original fan! Luckily I didn’t have to much to drink, though the tequila shots probably weren’t necessary. The Zack Brown Band was also there and they were enjoyable, too. Cindy from work arranged the whole thing and several ladies from work attended. I am not sure what this week has to offer but I am feeling a little anxious. Maybe because I have my two year review or maybe because Michael seemed a little down today and that’s on my mind. Not sure. I can be pretty anxious most of the time. I am going to try to have a very calm Monday. “I can do this” I tell myself. I’ll report back on that…. This afternoon I watched Andy Murry lose in the Legg Mason Tennis Classic. Upsetting that he didn’t win, but he made it very far and has a great new coach!!! He’s an up and comer for Great Britton. It will be fun to see in the next couple of years how he’s doing. I track his play pretty closely, though. Maria Sharapova, however, did pull out the win at the Acura Classic final. We saw that match on tv along with a cubs game. I would say it was kind of a day for watching sports on tv. Nikki Current Mood: anxious (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 3rd, 2006
1:23 pm	This entry has a Disclaimer Disclaimer: I do not believe I know any more about relationships and love then the next person. I was writing some thoughts and somehow this is what immerged. The One – Thoughts on those Searching: I think we would all have stronger and healthier relationships if we would stop forcing it and just trust in God to lead the way. Is it that difficult to imagine that (even in love) the most amazing and valuable things are worth waiting for? And yet we live in a society where we are trained to think we don’t have to wait for anything we want. Use the time you have now to learn, grow and mature. Take care of yourself physically and mentally. I wish I had spent more of the time I was in a struggling relationship or no relationship all to personally grow. Dating – My Personal Experiences: I came to the conclusion that I have never really been a good girlfriend. I think I play the part of girlfriend pretty lousy, in truth. I could never find that adequate combination of being close without being clingy. I over-reacted all the time. Mostly, I was too out of it to realize I was hurting the other person. In turn it caused breakups to be much harder than they ever should have been. If I had a second chance at the past, I would do several things differently starting with my attitude and treating people better. It might have kept me from wondering later in life if a certain someone ever did forgive me for all the crap I put them through. But as you can see from my next conclusion the outcome would have been the same regardless. The second conclusion is that love alone isn’t enough to make a relationship work. And I can only wish that I loved some people more to have let them go sooner… go to find something so much more than I could have ever offered them. Sometimes we need to own up when have nothing more to give, or we can barely take care of ourselves, we are only draining the person we are leaning on. A relationship can only survive so long being that out of balance. Broken Hearts –Sometimes Love Hurts: Getting your heart broken is a part of life. It happens to the majority of us and it hurts like Hell. Take it from me; I can’t think of anything capable of torturing us more. I guess I do believe that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. With every heart wrenching tear that rolls down your cheek and every sick feeling in the pit of your empty stomach is a moment stemmed because you lived your life and didn’t just go through the same old routines that tie us to nothingness. You took a risk by giving your heart which in it’s self is a gift. Put a mark on this world by loving. Eventually the suffering will slowly lessen. Moving On – How I Did It: Though my heart held on to the past in part, I moved on. In 2003 I moved to Indiana to start over on my own. I wanted to stop running back to old relationships that had failed or being surrounded by every little thing that reminded me of what I had lost. After 2 weeks in Indiana I got a car, found a good job and joined a new church. I made friends with kind and conservative people my age. I decided it was time to get over my anger and suffering. I put my life back together and in turn I was ready when I found Michael for something truly incredible – True Love! Change - Before Marriage: I am still learning how to be a good wife. One thing I can say with much certainty is that I make a better wife than I do a girl friend. But I think it mostly has to do with the fact that I have changed immensely before getting married. People do change. People do get better and amend their ridiculous ways. But sometimes that means hitting rock bottom and realizing how precious life actually is. Whenever possible, do the majority of your changing before marriage. The Past Year – And the Future: I am coming up on my one year anniversary of being married to Michael. We were married on September 5, 2005. It has been a great year filled with everything a marriage needs (some of which I have listed): love, happiness, laughter, adventure, trust, growth, understanding, encouragement, attraction physically and mentally, commitment and a few tears. We have a healthy and exciting relationship! And I couldn’t be more thrilled about our future together! The One – Some Questions to Ask Yourself: If you truly believe you are with the person you hope to spend the rest of your life with, ask yourself these questions: Am I attracted to this person physically & mentally? Will I still be attached to this person in 10 years? Will I love them just as much if they gain weight? Will I love them just as much if they lose their job? Do we fit together in each others arms just right? Do we share the same faith or similar beliefs? Do I constantly keep my eye out for something better? Do I trust this person? Do I have doubts? Am I going to get bored? Do we communicate well? Nikki Current Mood: creative (Comment on this)
Monday, July 24th, 2006
10:38 pm	My Weekend/RCA Tennis Friday night Michael and I went to Fionn McCool’s which is an Irish Pub in Fishers, Indiana (not as nice as our favorite: Claddagh Irish Pub). We had fish & chips and enjoyed a couple half pints of beer. One Stella and one Bass for me. The half pint is very ladylike and the beer glasses are less like mugs and more dainty. It was overly loud because we sat at a table in the bar area and there were some at the stools that must have been several ahead of us. Saturday & Sunday you could find us in downtown Indianapolis for the RCA Tennis Semifinals and Championships. Who knows if I’ll ever get the chance to see James Blake and Andy Roddick battle it out again in person. And for the winner to have to pull it out in a third set tiebreaker was unbelievable. It truly was world class tennis! Going into the final singles match knowing both competitors were American I had a sense of almost not caring who won. But once it started, I knew I was hoping for it to be Andy Roddick. Well, Andy didn’t win but all in all it was one fun afternoon. Andy did win later that day in doubles. I can’t wait to go again next year. I think Michael and I will probably book a hotel room to save on the one way drive of about 50 minutes. Nikki Current Mood: anxious (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 12th, 2006
1:31 pm	excited So I haven’t written in a long time. Or maybe it just seems like that. I am at work but it’s lunch time. There is a lot going on I would like to write about but it’s slightly premature and therefore I ought to just hold off for now. As for other things, yesterday I bought tickets for the RCA Championships. It’s a tennis tournament here in Indy. Rodick, Blake and Murry are some of the players that will be there. We have pretty good tickets for the Semi Finals and Finals. I couldn’t be more excited. Matt is up and running now as a security guard. I am sure it’s similar to what Rick does. It’s funny because I have trouble picturing either of them in that profession and at the same time how they keep from laughing at the thought of me in insurance is beyond my comprehension as well. Wrote Max the other day. Can’t hardly believe how much I’ve missed him. I should write more soon. Nikki Current Mood: excited (Comment on this)
Monday, June 19th, 2006
9:50 pm	undeserved gifts This weekend we went to the Noblesville Strawberry Festival, stayed up watching the Season One of HOUSE while drinking a bottle of champagne, visited a new church and worked on our landscaping in the front yard. Michael and I were inseparable the entire time. And it’s times like these… when I write about how blessed I am that I come to the usual conclusion. The tears slide down my cheeks and I know… that I’ll never have the words to express to God nor to my husband, Michael, how thankful I am to be loved, held and completely taken care of. I have said it a millions times and still believe it to be true. That God new 13 years before I was born that I would need Michael here on earth until I could go home to be with Him. Salvation and love on earth… undeserved gifts. Current Mood: hopeful (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 14th, 2006
1:21 pm	people from high school Okay, so last night I spent a decent amount of time AOL instant messenger chatting it up with Matt. I must say that because we both got internships at Walt Disney World after high school and with our past of the timing never being quite right to make things work, I must say that I keep up with him more than anyone from my past. However, I still think that he has changed so much. That’s why it’s hard even with MySpace to go back and talk to old friends, because you have this idea of how someone is and they shock the h*** out of you. I also received an email from Eric yesterday. I was taken by surprised but must admit that it completely brightened my day. Strange how often times it’s the littlest things. Regardless, he seems very happy and well. And gave me the short version on how he got where he is. Again, just a completely nice email. Eric didn’t bring up the breakup with Christina, but since she is now engaged and he seems to be in love, I imagine it occurred some time ago. Some of my MySpace friends have a friend named Heather who was a year ahead of us in school. It’s odd because it reminded me that I briefly dated Steve my freshman year (also a year ahead of us) who was her big high school romance. Mostly I haven’t thought of Steve in years and though I try not to be so judgmental, I think he is probably still a jerk. Looks like the two broke it off once and for all some time ago. I always assumed that some of us would end up with our high school sweethearts despite the depressing statistics. The only people I personally know that it has worked for are my sister Stephy and her husband Charlie (who was two years ahead of her in high school). They have been married for almost 5 years and I can see they were just meant to be. I haven’t heard from Rick in almost a month now. And it’s cool. Cool as in Cold. Fine. Have heard from Adam, though. He’s moving and trying to get rid of some stuff in his apartment. We exchanged a few emails about the past and how funny it is the things we recall. I have never really been all that close with females. Can’t actually think of a reason for why that is other than girls can be more brutal. Being one, I am willing to admit that. Lunch break is almost over. Nikki Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)